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Tactical Error - Unifying Contradiction
June 18th, 2014
10:50 am
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Tactical Error
I made a tactical error with my last post. I had been thinking, abstractly, that I should start posting livejournal updates again, and had planned to do that starting right after my 'we are here' post.

What I hadn't been considering (basically because its the sort of thing I try not to think about) was what a bad headspace I was in at that time. I was hurting badly, but I don't believe in talking to others about my hurts because I don't find that spreading it makes it better. It just makes other people hurt too, and then I hurt more because on top of my troubles I've gone and hurt my friends. So, for me, talking about it makes it worse. Empathic people who *really* want to help, only make it many times worse.

So, basically I had nothing I wanted to talk about that I was willing to talk about. Hopefully things will be changing a bit from now on, as I hope I'm over the worst of it, for now.

Current Mood: Somber

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

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Date:June 18th, 2014 10:20 pm (UTC)
That is in itself is a post! I did not know someone could feel that way vis-à-vis sharing hurtful feelings to others. Perhaps because I am on the other side where I have found that after I finally opened, it was surprisingly healing to feel others' empathy. For me, it goes along the lines of not feeling alone in the pain, having a hand to help one up on its feet, etc. But our reaction to it likely has more to do with where we come from (i.e. the battles we fought in the past, their outcomes, etc.). Hmm...

/me feels ponderous.
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Date:June 21st, 2014 04:03 am (UTC)
Give your self time, my man. Give yourself all the time you need.
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